The Lawn Care Kismet

 Today started off like this.

 It wasn't exactly easy to get going with a couple pounds of pure sweetness slumbering on me. And by the time I got up and moving around, I knew today would be one of those days when it's hard to get a whole lot accomplished.
 After my morning routine and email check, I decided to dally a bit longer before getting into the studio to paint. Ten minutes turned into almost two hours (damn you internet!) and I had to unplug and step outside to get in the right frame of mind. I needed to realign, if you will. I laced up and headed to the trail.
 The first two miles of my run on the trail were hot and painful.
I was not enjoying myself at all. So, I decided to walk.
Instead of using the time to multitask by listening to a podcast, I took my ear buds out and listened to the symphony of the swamp.
 It was unusually loud today. The cicadas clicked and whirred to a soft roar. I spent a few minutes thinking about all I needed to get done, then a few more, and a few more. (I'm sure I was missing any inspiring animal encounters that were near the trail because I was so wrapped up in the to-do list.)
I stopped myself after mile four and forced my mind to quiet down. Every time a task would pop into my mind, I would counter it with an acknowledgment of gratitude. Eventually, the thoughts of thankfulness began to flow.
  I came to a bench where I sometimes stop to look up at the spanish moss swaying in the wind.

(I meant to take a picture of a huge turtle in the swamp, but I was distracted by this lovely creature and missed the turtle.)

I laid across the metal bench and stared at the sky. Today was the first day this week that thunderheads were replaced by fluffy white clouds rolling along gracefully. I thought for a moment that my heaven probably looks a lot like this. There will, of course, be a full spectrum of autumn leaves and smells in my afterlife bliss, but this was so close.
 I let myself be still. Not trying to listen, but allowing space for inspiration. Maybe a new idea for a painting? An animal muse crossing my path?
 Whether it is divine or just our inner self speaking, I strongly believe that in the quiet mind, we will find our guidance. Most of my biggest successes in my art and life in general have come from a still, small, but clear voice in this state.
                                                              Cut the grass.
Wait, what?
 Cut the grass.


The rain had kept my husband from cutting the grass this week and it was getting pretty long.
This wouldn't be a big deal, but we have a reel mower. ( No motor!)

It's my husband's way to get an extra workout and save a sliver of the environment when he does the lawn. I love him for it and it's really not too bad. It's one of the best push mowers on the market, but it is 50lbs and we have an incline on our lawn. Trust me, you feel it.
  So, after another urge to go cut the grass, I got up from the bench and walked the remaining two miles home. Podcasts lined up, wet towel on my neck and donning a visor, I pulled the Fiskar (yep, they make scissors, too) into the 88F feels like 95F yard.
 I battled the side section first, since it's on an incline, too. I had to go over it several times, adjusting the blade height down with each round.
After 25 minutes I had the side done.
I brought the mower to the front yard and did the first two passes trying to go downhill. This was going to be a long battle. I was starting to regret the 6 miles on the trail. I wasn't going to get anything else done today!

As I did the strip by the road, a large truck passed by and stopped at a stop sign. I heaved the 50lb beast back up to our Oleanders and tried to circle them. The sandy soil caught the wheels and I struggled, but got it back down the hill for another pass. As I neared the road, I noticed the truck backing up toward our house.
 The truck stopped in front of me and the windows came down. I'm sure I was a sight to behold. Red faced and soaked with sweat.

"You want a free mow?"

"I'll be alright. My husband usually does it, but I want to get it done before it rains again."

"You want it to look like you did it?"

 Long story short, these guys asked their boss if they should stop and come back because they couldn't watch me push that mower in the Florida heat. They wouldn't even let me pay them. I tried.

Since the owner, Corey, wouldn't let me pay him, I asked what his wife decorates with.
It turned out that his wife is a graphic designer and they were both in the printing business.
He said she likes turtles, but I don't have any Slow and Steady signed prints yet, so I asked if she likes frogs. I gladly gave him signed prints of Atoadment and Kiss It.

I did ask for cards, and you can be sure that Safari Lawn Care will be getting our business next time.
With a 3 person crew and professional equipment, they knocked it out in under 15 minutes.
It would have taken me over 3 hours.

 So, I actually did get a little painting done today, and my husband is spared from this week's bout with the lawn. Who knows, maybe a zebra painting is in my future.

A Cheetah Born of Chernobyl

   A few months ago, I was asked to exhibit my art in a January show titled I Believe.  
I believe in tons of things. In particular, I believe in the power of belief itself, but I wanted to focus on things that inspire stronger belief. My first piece in the show is about Falling. 
I believe in the brilliant quiet of autumn and in graceful relinquishment. I believe in falling in love, I believe in letting go. I believe in falling down when the season calls.

Tatsiana "Tanya" Khvitsko running a 1/2 marathon.

I also believe in getting back up and pressing on.
 I have long been drawn to the courage and perseverance of the underdog. Those special few that fight with a fierce tenacity when the odds are seemingly set against them. All of us have excuses that hold us back from pursuing things that could bring us immense joy. Sometimes, we just need a reality check and a little kick in the rear to push us out of our comfort zone and into the space of the unknown. A space that challenges and then empowers us.

  I am not lithe, I am not fast, but I am a runner. As a member of a facebook group for women that run, I am often encouraged by the posts sharing ladies' struggles and triumphs. It was in that group that I was first inspired by a runner that has overcome one of the most fundamental setbacks possible; Tatsiana Khvitsko was born without legs.

 "Tanya" rocking a 10 k in Kansas City. A "Child of Chernobyl", she was born in Belarus with severe physical disabilities due to the Ukrainian nuclear disaster .

I was inspired by Tatsiana (she goes by Tanya) so I contacted her to learn more and get permission to paint a portrait of her and share her story.  Here are the questions I asked and her responses:


Tell us your story.

 I was born in 1990 in the little town of Nesvizh, Belarus, four years after the Chernobyl Nuclear disaster. Like so many other children born with severe disabilities, I will forever be known as a “Child of Chernobyl”. My disability of not having my lower legs and some of my fingers was very obvious and extremely rare. But it didn’t make me a weak person; instead it has caused me to be a strong person who can overcome almost anything.
 When I was born, my parents were told that they should not take me home with them because of the severity of my birth defects. Luckily I came home to my parents when I was 4 years old. At age 5, along with many other disabled children, I was placed in boarding schools for kids with disabilities; that is where I spent most of the years at the school with only a few visits from my family. For me it was my second home, for many it was their only home.
 At the age of six, I made my first trip to the US, Kansas City with a group of other Chernobyl Children with Project Restoration.

Tanya, age 6, first time in the U.S.!

At that time, when I arrived I was unable to communicate in English. My fear and uncertainty caused me to misbehave in many ways. I often pulled the tails of my host families’ cats and I even hit the other children at times. Despite these actions, the host families still loved me and did their best to guide and help me. From their perspective, it probably was not easy having a little Belarusian girl living with them for six weeks – especially one with such severe physical disabilities.

 When I returned to Belarus at the end of each summer, my school years were spent at the boarding school for disabled children. The school became my second home. I did everything most children get to do and there were opportunities not available in the regular public school, like singing, dancing on a wheelchair and participating in Special Olympics for Ping-Pong. I loved this school because we were equal. However, I went for long periods of time without seeing my family and having their support close by. But at the same time I remember going home for holidays and it was hard for me because I was not used to being home and my family just didn’t see me as a normal kid. So back and forth I went - from Belarus to America…from my boarding school to home and back again.
 My life was filled with change and transition. I completed my high school classes at the same boarding school and would not have had the opportunity to attend any college in Belarus.

Luckily, with help of my American host families and many other contacts, it was determined that it might be possible for me to attend college here in the U.S. if I pass the TOEFL and score well enough to get accepted to the college and luckily I did it. I attended Cottey during the 2008-09 & 2009-10 school years and received my Associates Degree in 2010. The following two years I attended MidAmerica Nazarene University (MNU) in Olathe, Kansas where I graduated with honors in Communication and received my Bachelor of Science degree in Corporate Communication in the spring of 2012.

 Being part of the community has also given me opportunities to volunteer and give back to those who have helped me so much and to help those in need, especially those with similar backgrounds, disabilities and dreams like mine. I volunteered at Camp Barnabas where I assisted special needs
children and adults. And when kids from Belarus visit the US, I would always help with translating and mentoring.

Tell us about your running.
 I adore running!
Three years ago I received my first set of running legs through POA, FL.
When I put these legs on for the very first time and ran, I felt like I was flying. I was running so fast - someone had to hold me to stop me. Since then, I ran at least 20- 5K’s, 6- 10K’s, and just recently I completed my first half-marathon (13.1m) - it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but it was totally worth it.

Photo credit- Jeff Mullikin, www.jeffmullikin.com

 When I run – I am a completely different person. I feel like I am so powerful and strong.
When I run, I love the feeling of the wind toward me! I love just listening to my music and be in my own world – it’s quite incredible! Running made me a strong and a positive person. I’ve always been a fighter, a hard worker and I always loved to achieve something and I will do my best to be on top of everything I do.

What inspires you?
 Successful people with incredible backgrounds, positive thoughts and puppies! People that worked hard to overcome something yet today they are great role models!
It can be anyone; from a little girl who overcame cancer to a grandpa who lived thru the war.
I don’t like choosing favorites because everyone has a story and everyone’s story is inspiring!

What has been your biggest challenge? 
 There are many challenges in life that I have. Just being a runner and wearing two prosthetic legs is not that easy. I am a very competitive person and I always have to remind myself that I am an amputee and that I do have prosthetic legs so I can’t just force myself to run if I am in a lot of pain. I have to be always cautious of not getting any blisters or irritations on my limbs.

 Finally, I have to always make sure to have the bolts tightened on my prosthesis or I can get hurt if the bolts loosen.
 My other challenge… well, it’s not really a challenge just more of a “girl” concern. We take some many things for granted. Even though I am an athlete, I am still somewhat girly. I love wearing dresses and skirts but I don’t look as pretty in dresses as non-amputees and can’t wear heels. I have always been told by non-amputees that it is hard to wear heals or they are painful – but it is different for me because I don’t get to experience that. Maybe heels are painful or not fun to wear – you still wear them… I can’t. Yes, silly comment, but every girl with prosthesis will have the same thought.

 What's your biggest dream? 
 My biggest dream? Become a millionaire and pay it forward! I want to be able to help others in any way I can - either financial support or mental. I want to be successful in life through hard work. I want to show others that it’s okay to miss some limbs and still live in the world like a fully limbed person! I want for others to see that world is a beautiful thing – and if we don’t take things for granted and just appreciate what we have and maybe even share something that we have – the world can be a peaceful place!
Yes, not everyone would do this – but if we try, one person at the time – changes can be made!

What's the best advice you were ever given?
To remember that there is always someone else who can't do as much I do! To remember that there is always someone else who has less than you. To remember that you live once. Don't just live the life - enjoy it!

D. Renée Wilson, watercolor mixed media, 2013.

Thank you, Tanya, for being such an inspiration and giving so much back to the world. 
Keep on running!  <3
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Now is the New Sexy

 The past, guilt, and shame is so much heavier than fat.

 After reading this blog post, I was angry. (A great reminder that "sexy" and fitness fads are always changing, and pretty much always detrimental, strong language warning.)
But, I can't always blame the media and fads. Even though I don't judge myself against others, I do compare myself to past versions of me, robbing myself of current joys and self-esteem. Time to look in the mirror-

Red-faced in Florida, post-run

  In the summer, I slack. Florida is hot as all get out and I do not particularly enjoy pounding the pavement under the blazing tropical sun while gasping in thick, insect filled air. I timed myself on a recent 5k early morning run. It revealed just how much I've slacked.
As a former Team-In-Training athlete, my time was embarrassing compared to my past 5k and 1/2 marathon PRs. I felt lazy. I felt old. I felt fat.

 On the contrary, my husband is definitely more fit than your average American married man.
He's not an Adonis, but he diligently works out almost every morning before sunrise, despite his mood or physical state. He is incredibly disciplined. He is also typically insusceptible to media and culture brainwashing. He competes against himself, and he is proud of his body's strength. He also enjoys copious amounts of cheat foods on weekends. He is less concerned with his appearance than with his performance, and he is unashamed of a little (tiny) cheat food pudge.
 When I met my husband, I ran at least 5 miles every morning and went to group fitness classes and yoga 3-4xs a week. Saturday mornings were often spent at the gym followed by watching a college football game or movie on the treadmill. I was five years younger, 25 pounds lighter and nicely wore slim dresses that now sit in the back of my closet in the I-loved-and-I-will-wear-you-again-one-day section, nestled somewhere between my shame and winter wear.

These go behind the winter coats.

  The evening after my timed run, I was bemoaning my pace to my husband as we talked about our training schedule and goals for a turkey trot this year. (Thanksgiving 5k race)
I whined about wanting a beer, but denied myself the brew due to calorie estimates; getting faster is much easier for me if I drop a few lbs.

 Here's where I'm a lucky gal, my much-faster-than-me husband scoffed at the idea.
He reminded me that I ran that morning. No matter how fast, I ran, and it's a start to getting back to where I'd like to be. He essentially said that life is short, and I need to enjoy it. If I want a beer, drink a beer. If I want some autumn treats (don't get me started on fall), have them. It comes once a year, and I can run year round.
 Just like in most situations, his encouragement puts things in perspective and me back on track.
The heat may still be stifling, but I think it's the shame and guilt that weigh me down. Comparing past me to now me slows me down more than any other variable could. Doing so devalues my current abilities.

 One of the reasons I practice yoga is to slow down and live in the present moment. I am aware of my body as I breathe, stretch and strengthen. I honor the gift of now.
Right now, my body may not look or perform as it once did, but it is carrying me through daily trials and triumphs. It enables me to create my artwork, solve problems, help others, enjoy life, and love.
It carries my soul through its journey, and that is beyond beautiful.

 Now, my legs can carry me on an easy run, and for that I will thank my now body and celebrate.
I will celebrate that by going on a run tonight with my two best supporters; my husband and my now body. Then, we'll probably have a beer.

Photo from http://www.pintlog.com

A Post Road Pumpkin Ale sounds perfect.

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