Dodging the Lonelies and Uncorny Affirmations

  Looong time no see. A lot has happened since I last posted here. A global pandemic threw me for a little loop, and then when I was just thinking about reinvigorating the blog, I had a life changing medical issue upend everything. I will post later about my cerebellar strokes, but for now I'll leave it at 2 quick things;

1. Too much reading, screen time, and especially scrolling, now makes me literally ill. 

2. Always visit an ER if you have sudden onset loss of balance, dizziness, nausea, etc. and demand imaging with contrast. Don't let medical personnel dismiss you because of age. My strokes were caused by a congenital defect (PFO) in my heart. Misdiagnosis and inappropriate treatment likely caused a subsequent stroke.

 Dealing with my new brain and limitations can be extremely difficult. Self acceptance and kind self talk is something which I am admittedly not great...

My therapist constantly suggests affirmations. 😏

Affirmations are, well, extremely corny. 

While, yes, this could mean I need them even more, I still feel incredibly weird saying them. 

But then I found Affirmators.

This deck has the absolute perfect balance of art- very cute illustrations

work- addressing often challenging and important aspects of mental health 

and play - this deck does not take itself too seriously. Like, at all.

And some have been spot on for me, right down to the puking.

I'm 100% on board with this card, life is an incredible ride. I'm grateful to be in a body experiencing this world, even when the body is glitchy.

I've made a habit of pulling one card every day and trying to adhere to the advice on it.

 I'm back here to share today's card because it seemed so appropriate and I hope it reaches the eyes that need it.

"I'm connected to the multitudes, and I can access their support at any time. Even a stranger offers a sense of comfort when they smile at me or make a dumb comment about the weather. Everyone is waiting to connect...
all I need to do is open myself up and pay attention.
(Note to self: work on witty banter about weather-related stuff.) "

This hits home more than before the strokes. You see, social media is something that now triggers nausea and headaches due to the scrolling and eye movement involved in scanning and reading.
I have removed all notifications and was really quite content, until I realized that I have very few real friends that communicate outside of social media. Sigh.
I'm also one of those people that abhors small talk. 
I'm terrible at it, but I'd love to ramble on about the nature of Consciousness, the complexities of interconnection, or even religious origins and their influence on cultures for literal hours.
As you might imagine, this can leave me feeling extra isolated during times I'm facing some of the more challenging aspects of life after the strokes.
This card isn't one of the funnier cards in the deck, but it was what I needed. 
You see, penguins move together in a seemingly choreographed pattern to create and retain heat.
 (Look it up, super fascinating!)
I'm not the only one feeling isolated because of a shitty hand I was dealt.
Chances are, the guy at the grocery store that starts a conversation about the weather is feeling it, too.
And as much as I loathe surface convos about cold fronts, following cues and syncing up like the penguins do might help to shield from the proverbial frost of feeling alone.

(or at whatever local bookstore you wish to support)

 Thanks for stopping by. I truly hope your day leaves you grateful for the short ride we are given. Even when it seems like a ride that's giving you whiplash. 

 I'll leave you with one more card if only b/c it's one that I've needed a bit more than before the strokes when dealing with callous, impatient, or discriminatory people.  A-holes teach me more about myself every time, and why their assholery bothers me in the first place.


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